I thought about trying to be clever today because I wasn't into this topic. But I decided to just keep it real. Because we've all had a first love and every love story deserves to be told. No matter what the ending looked like.
When I was 15, I was certain that my first boyfriend was my first 'love'. Turns out--not so much. But like Taylor Swift sings "when you're fifteen and somebody tell you they love you you're gonna believe them." (I heard that song this morning while I was getting ready--how funny). He was definitely not my first love.
And after a few more boyfriends (I was kinda cute in high school), I met the person that earned the title of my first love. I had just turned 17 and he gave me 17 pink roses and told me he liked me. I told him I liked his friend. He didn't really care to hear that. But within weeks I realized that I didn't like it when he talked to other girls and I didn't want him to go out with anyone else. And before I knew it, I couldn't think about anyone else and he was my boyfriend. And then I fell in love. Big time. He made me laugh, he made me feel good about myself, he wrote me love notes. He once told me that he would write me a rap song if we ever got married. And he believed I was beautiful--he told me every day. He was everything that the 17 year old I once was wanted. We had a very intense relationship. We couldn't get enough of each other. We graduated from high school and moved back to the states. We did the long distance thing while I was in college. We broke up once and got back together during freshman year. Then after a lot of trying and crying, the 4 year relationship was over during my junior year. It broke my heart. I've never been so sad in my entire life. I spent the second semester of junior year in sweat pants and a pony tail writing letters that I never sent to him. We did talk a few times--once in my senior year (he asked me to move to be near him) and again when his son was born. But I've never seen him again. He lives in another state so there is no chance of running into him.
But I don't like to dwell on the end because he was my greatest lesson I've learned. I will always think of him fondly. I don't think I ever want to see him again because I don't want our story to have any additional chapters. But the important thing about my first love is that no matter who I have loved since him and who I will love in the future, the 17 year old part of me will always love him the 17 year old part of him. And that's the part of the story that I always want to remember.
The End. :)
The one thing that I still have of his is this shirt. I just feel bad throwing it out. It lives in the box of my high school stuff.
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