In My Words

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your own heart"  --WW

 

 

Once upon a time ago I was a little red haired girl that kept a diary.  Every day I would write which boy I liked, which friend was my best, and all the "secrets" I thought I had.  I never completed a single diary.    I would eventually tire of the process or skip a few days and feel like I couldn't possibly catch up on what had happened in my life.  After junior high I stopped trying to keep a diary and instead settled for buying pretty journals that sat empty.  (note: I have a love affair with buying note cards and journals)  I started one again right before I went to grad school but like all my attempts of the past it ended with a few written pages and a whole lot of blank pages.  I like the idea of a journal and a part of me always wants to record my feelings.  I certainly like to explore my feelings and thoughts (almost to a flaw) but I hate to read it after I've written it.  It's like I want it to be a great literary work and since it's not, I get annoyed.  I give up and wish I was the person that kept a journal.  I started this blog in an attempt to record my life so there went my need for a journal.   Or so I thought.

 

Last month, I decided to try again.  I bought a journal that I could carry in my bag.  I have so much going on in my head and heart that I needed a place to put it.  Blogging is great but unless I am prepared to let the world know the dark parts, I can't really put it all out there.  (This blog is the highlight reel, not a behind the scenes.)  I need a place to just keep it REAL.  To write without fear of judgement, without boundaries, without rules.  To write about the things that keep me up at night, the fears, the goals, the hurt, the happy, the silly, the mundane...It's a stream of consciousness style journal.  It's where I'm asking the important questions and connecting with myself.  I was reading an article about journaling and the benefits of it and I found what I think to be a good explanation of what I want my journal to be:  "a container for self reflection, self expression, and self exploration"  Let's face it, it's terrifying to write down the things you feel sometimes.  It is for me.  And I haven't once went back and read what I've written so far.  I write when I have feelings I need to express, or feel anxious about something or need to figure something out.  So far it's been really helpful.  I am able to just write whatever I want without fear of the consequences of my words.  They are MY words and MY story.  And finally there is comfort in that.  It's not going to be published after my death and I doubt my grandchildren will ever read it so I've stopped writing for a large audience.  I'm the only audience that I'm concerned with.  And it can be dark, it can be light, it can be whatever I want it to be in that moment.  And it feels healthy.

 

I also have been writing in this one sentence journal that my friend Angie bought me two years ago.  It's a five year record and you can record the daily happenings in this.  I like this for just knowing what happened last year on this date.  And summing up your day into one sentence can be fun. 

 

"If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad" --Lord Byron

Festive Fall Stuff

This last week hasn't been very eventful, but there have certainly been moments of festive fun.  I love Halloween and dressing up.  I was going to have a party this year but never got around to doing it.  I really hope that I'll feel more social soon.   I've grounded myself from socializing outside of work for awhile.  Let me be clear, it SUCKS.  Work though is a different story...

On Friday we celebrated the most random, made up, theme day at work.  We dubbed it Fong-Fox day because that's the name of the drawer I was going to be working on that day.  One of the student workers and I thought it was funny during the summer so we've been gearing up for it all semester.  It really makes no sense but whatever.  It made us laugh.

 

Becky and I wearing fox ears in the office. 

Then Friday night in honor of my grounding myself from social life, I went home and made the halloween treats I am going to be giving to my coworkers on Halloween.  Thanks to pinterest, intsagram, and several blogs, I printed off the tags and made little gift bags of kisses and plastic spiders.  They turned out cute!

 

On Sunday was Malloween, aka kids dressing up and getting candy at the mall.  I used my trusty cat ears for this.  Gotta love an excuse to be in costume at work, right?

 

And this weekend I made up these cute little fabric treat bags that I saw on Pinterest.  Turns out, having a lot of free time at night means I'm on Pinterest more.  I think these are cute and I will be making them for different holidays so I always have a treat bags on hand.  And it's a great way to use the scrap fabric I have.  Maybe I'll sell them at a craft fair--I'd buy these if I was hosting and event or something themed.  I'd be glad to take orders... haha!

 

Life is pretty boring right now.  And I'm really trying to decide where to take this blog.  I need a purpose.  Any suggestions? 

Yawn

Let's pretend this is going to be an interesting post. 

It's not going to be.

Yesterday I posted the below picture to instagram.  It was an overview of my morning at work.  I went through a bazillion files as I'm supposed to.  (These files aren't going to purge themselves, folks.)    But in between every batch of files, I did some really useless stuff.  (Except drinking the coffee--that is essential).  Let's review:

I did a cuticle treatment because my cuticles were in desperate need.
I wrote a to-do list on my Halloween notepad.
I went to the bathroom and decided to do a photo shoot while I was near a mirror.  I had a new sweater on so clearly needed to have photographic evidence of this.
I made the photo collage below on  my break.
I posted it to instagram before I headed out to lunch.

 

Whew.  Don't worry, the rest of the day I was chained to my desk going through files.  I didn't complete my to-do list last night because my night meeting ran long.

 

But my cuticles are looking fantastic...

One

It's already Wednesday!  This week is bringing me lots of feelings.  It's like that time of the year.  Every fall for the last three years I've had some version of the same crap going on.  I've got to go pumpkin picking or something.  Ha!  Thank goodness for staying busy. 

On Saturday I got to attend a celebration for my friend, Sara's little boy.  He turned one and is one of the cutest little babies I've seen. (please note that I say this about all the kids in my life--what can I say my friends make some cute kids!) It's so nice to be able to watch my friends become parents and celebrate these little milestones. 

Before the party I told Sara I would try making some popcorn balls.  I've never attempted this before and it's pretty easy.  Next time I'll add the food coloring. 

The party was super adorable.  Here is the picture display of baby Lach's first year. 

 

Angie working hard in the kitchen.

Some of the party ladies. 

Two of my favorite people...Angie and Sabrina.

 

Sabrina and I attempting a selfie.

Lach and his happy parents.  I adore this picture!

The birthday guy.  Couldn't he be in a baby Gap commercial?!?

And I love this cute little display. 

 

It was a fun time! 

 

Today I'm feeling blah.  I need to get my groove back.  Like Stella did back in the day.  :)

Football Fun

It was a busy weekend for me.  I even had yesterday off from both jobs--whoa.  On Sunday I went to a Bills game with my Dad.  Two weekends in a row spent tailgating.  I could get used to this. 

I made Buffalo chex mix and had some game day treats to give out to fun people. (I love a theme!)

I picked up these football cookies at walmart and put them in a baggie with ribbon.  Sometimes walmart comes through for me.

Last week I had wanted to find knee socks to wear with shorts (because it was going to be 70 in Buffalo in October).  I found some to order but by that point it was Wednesday and needed to have them in a few days.  I ordered them and then called the company to make sure I'd have them.  The lady was super nice and upgraded my shipping.  So I got them on Friday.  Whew! 

Game day outfit...

 

Dad grilling up some food. 

 

Enjoying a pre game cocktail.

watching the game with Dad.

 

They lost in overtime but it was fun!

 

It was a good day! 

Friday OOTD

Besides a few little bright spots, it's been kind of a rough day.  I'm ready for bed and it's before 10 pm on a Friday.       Let's just say I wasted some good mascara tonight.  Blech.

But the show goes on...here's  the Friday edition of OOTD because it started out on a positive note.

The weather has been great this week.  I'm loving it!

It's gonna be a busy weekend.  See you Monday!

Are You Kedding Me?

Yesterday I felt like I was the cool kid in 6th grade.  Except that I'm WAY cooler now than I was in 6th grade.  I needed a pair of casual sneaker type thing (and besides my running sneakers I don't have anything casual that is also sporty) so I picked up these...

Keds!!  I laughed when I carried the box to the counter because I never had a pair of real Keds when it was super cool to have them back in the day.  They were crazy expensive back then and my parents didn't so much care about the coolness factor and labels when it came to clothes.  So I begrudgingly wore the Payless version and envied the girls that sported the real Keds with the 4 pairs of colored socks.  That little blue tag on the back of a shoe held all sorts of social power and status to 12 year olds.  I never had Guess jeans to wear with them either...sigh.  

 

I thought it was funny that all these years later I purchased a pair.  I no longer think they are the coolest shoes ever (I mostly just needed them for a very specific outfit) but I still remember how much I had wanted a pair when they WERE the coolest shoe ever. 

 

I guess it just proves that you do end up getting the object of your desire...maybe not at the time you want it but at the time you're supposed to get it...

 

something to keep in mind. 

Charmed Arms

So far this week has been very quiet and as much as I hate quiet, I also need it for now.  I'm off facebook and I'm limiting my social stuff by going to work and going home (except for going to a friends house the other night--which was fun and seeing an old friend for a few minutes last night).  I'm trying really hard to just focus on quiet things right now.  Not an easy task for me.  I haven't run the past few mornings.  It's cold and dark at 5:30 (bad excuse).  I need to get back on my game. 

 

That doesn't make for exciting blog material.  But I haven't shared my relatively new obsession with decorating my arms these days.  I'm all about accessories.  I love that watches and bracelets are all the rage. I'm fully embracing it and wanted to share a few of my favorite things.

 

This watch was my Christmas gift last year.  I love it.  

My love for this watch goes without saying.  Another gift  (thanks to a good friend and the gift card she gave me for my birthday last year)

My friend Sabrina sells Chloe & Isabel jewelry and last winter I got this wrap bracelet.  I lost it once and was so sad that Sabrina replaced it for me. 

 

I just started with the Alex and Ani bracelets.  Let me tell you, I love the charms and how you can personalize them.  I have two so far but this one is my favorite because I love the quote.  I like how they jangle on your wrist and can be worn with lots of bracelets.

 

This may be my favorite piece that I got from Chloe and Isabel.  I had a credit from having an online party and finally got this one.  It's super cute.  I like the wrap bracelet style.  A lot.

 

This "leather" bow bracelet is fun.  I'm wearing it for the first time today.  It goes well with my "leather" skirt.  ;)
And the charmed memories bracelet was a present for a new chapter.  My initials, an anchor and St. Jude.  A good reminder when I need to refocus on the important things.

 

I have to admit that sometimes it's nice to just chat about silly things like bracelets.  It really is the little things some days.  :)

 

 

Sometimes

Today I have to share two pieces of advice/ wisdom (thanks to Pinterest)

isn't that the truth?!?  Fake it til you make it, as the saying goes.

And...

For the record I've not bought any sweatpants.  

And I had lipgloss on all day.   

Hey, it's a good day, right?!?

It's Monday. Again.

Despite the current circumstances that are making me feel pretty blah, I attempted some fun this weekend.  I know life is short and I need to remember the good things. 

On Saturday, I went to a Syracuse football game.  They played Clemson so I knew it wasn't going to be a win for my team BUT I knew it would be fun.  I was lucky to be invited to a tailgate and the game by my friend Jill's family.  They know I'm a big SU fan, so they brought me along. 

I made treat bags (thanks to Angie for finding the tags on a blog for me) to hand out to fun people.  I think they turned out pretty cute!

And I did my best to make a dress for the event.  I like game day outfits and I thought it would be fun to make a t-shirt dress.  So I got a new shirt and attached it to a skirt, added some ribbon.  It wasn't EXACTLY like I planned but it was close enough.  I cut the original skirt apart and reattached it.  Poor construction but hey, it lasted through the day. 

The tailgate was fun.  This was the "bar" area. 

Apparently, I made friends with someone with glasses.  ha ha.

Inside the dome.  Game time.

I got home from the game and went to bed.  Because I signed up for a 10K on Sunday.  I haven't been training like I should in the last month or two.  Life has been crazy.  But I figured at the least I could run the 5K.  So I did that.  And I was pretty happy that with my lack of running, I was able to just go out and run the 5K.  It makes me feel like I didn't lose all the work I had been putting into running this summer.  This means I need to make running a priority again.  Plus, I got these new running kicks and they are too cute to be put in a closet.  They need miles on them...

 

It was a fun time and I look forward to getting back into the swing of things with running.

 

Oh, and everything else...

Out with the old...

About 2 months ago I said goodbye to a chapter of my life...my car.  The civic was my ride for 8 years.  I got it the first year I moved back here and paid it off the same month I moved into my current house.  It was good to me but it was time to move on.  It needed some work and facing my upcoming inspection, I decided it was probably better to invest in a new car instead.  I was a little sad to say farewell.

After some shopping around (and almost losing my mind and buying a used Mercedes) I decided to go with a 2013 VW Jetta.  She's pretty right?  Thanks, Oneonta Volkswagen/Audi!

Silver.  Sunroof.  Lovely.  Here is our first picture together.  When I bought the civic I had wanted a silver car with a sunroof but because I was in desparate need of a car that weekend I kind of settled on the color and features.  So I FINALLY got the car I wanted except I had wanted black this time.  Next time I want an Audi.  Just saying.

I don't believe in bumper stickers but I thought she could use a little personalization so I added a monogram.  In orange, of course.

And as it goes, I get a new car every time I make changes in my career so this marks another chapter...looking forward to the ride!

Bunny Shower

I haven't hosted an event in a long time. In about a year.  But my friend, Isabel is having another baby and I was glad to host a baby shower for her.  She has two little girls and this is a boy so she definitely needs some new baby swag.   She said the baby room was going to be Peter Rabbit so we went with that as the theme.  It was two weeks ago, and I think it turned out better than I expected. 

For the favor I (with the help of my friend, Sabrina) made carrots (cone shaped treat bags with cheese balls, topped with tissue paper and ribbon)

The table featured mums with a little chalkboard that read "Welcome to Mr. McGregor's Garden".  Added some little pumpkins, boo boo bunnies and the carrots and done.

 

The cake table

 

 I spent a lot of time making food.  I always worry that I don't have enough but it turned out that I had plenty.

The cake turned out so cute!!  I had it made at Price Chopper and all I had to do was provide them a picture.  They copied it on to a icing sheet.  Super cute.  The stuff on the table was donated by my friend at work.  She has a Peter Rabbit collection of figurines, plates and little books.  Definitely made it much cuter.

The table all set.  Of course I loved the pops of color... especially the orange!  :)

I don't love shower games but we played guess the bunny tails.

Isabel cutting the cake.

I gave her some Syracuse onsies.  Every baby needs those especially with basketball season coming up.

With the lovely mom-to-be.  She looks great and I think she liked the shower!  It was fun to plan it.  It's always worth it to try to make someone's day more memorable.  Now just can't wait to meet the little guy!