Our Love Story

Tonight I'd like to tell you the story of how I met and eventually came to completely adore my friend Cristina.

Back in the day (about '00, I believe) I was a Residence Hall Director at my Alma mater with my girl Roxy. We were just out of college and having a lot of twenty something fun. Well, there was a new staff member that came in mid year (Cristina). We thought it would be fun if we invited her to hang out with us and went to her building to ask if she's like to watch the classic Grease 2 with us (hey, it's a great movie). C's response was simple. She said something to the effect of "um, no thanks" complete with a sneer. HMMMM...okay. She was immediately crossed off our cool kid list. Who doesn't want to hang out with US and watch Michelle Pfeiffer bowl in a pink satin jacket? We are super cool. Obviously.

Flash forward to the summer of the same year. C and I were both chosen to work as summer assistants in the office. I was unsure of how to proceed with her as a co-worker. Would we clash and have a standoff in 114.5? After a week or so of pleasantries, she dropped some very witty comments and I must admit I was impressed with her clever responses to the mundane tasks we had to do (scantrons from hell). So we began bonding. Discussing our ideal weddings and our common goal of being "pulled together." Not to mention a shared love of Carmel microwave popcorn. She quoted things from Silence of the Lambs with such perfection that I left her lotion in a basket on her doorstep for her birthday. Slowly, she opened up to me and began leaving me "death threats" around the office. Even taking time to type them while I was busy alphabetizing the stupid blue cards by myself. It was pure adoration (obviously mutual--I'm fantastic too, duh). We got work done in between our very busy schedule of completing the now infamous "Finger Print Hall of Fame" and collecting business cards for a feisty game of Business Card Go Fish. That was the summer that I officially became one of C's biggest fans. Almost 10 years later, she is one of my nearest and dearest. She is one of the most witty people I know. She still finds time to send me snarky e-mails on a regular basis. She has never failed to make me laugh with her clever words. In fact, I have a file folder for her in my e-mail because I read them when I'm having a bad day. You might be wondering why the Cristina love fest tonight? Well, it's because I would like to share some of her best work pre-blog. Plus, when do we ever really write down how we met our friends? Don't worry, you fools will get your turn too. But now, please enjoy one of my favorite top ten lists she's written in recent years. You will periodically see her work featured on my blog. Because this slap is funny!

Top 6 Ways to Entertain Yourself at a Pampered Chef Party:

6. Gasp loudly and fan yourself at each new product introduction

5. Bring a bowl of condoms and say you thought is was a Pampered Sex Party

4. Sneak kicks at the host's cats

3. Ask the consultant to explain thermal shock citing the specific Laws of Physics and
Thermodynamics

2. Make everyone touch the stoneware and scream each time

1. Take the catalog to the bathroom and announce, "I'll be awhile"